Here, I am again. Last week I wrote of my Dying Legacy part 1 . One week and five days ago, I found out that I am departing this earthly universe, but let me tell you something; it will not be without a fight to persisting in staying on this earthly universe.
Apparently, this departure is one which haunts me with my physical terminally ill illness.
The dreaded biggy lurgy wordy ‘C‘.
This big ‘C‘ is better known as cancer.
I have stage 4 lung cancer and metastatic brain cancer, but not incapable.
I am ill but not incapable. Yesterday, Monday, the 9th November, I was admitted to the hospital, with a chest infection after querying if I had a pulmonary embolism. The journey to the hospital, was an eye opener and I broke down, realising that this could be the story of my life. But I wasn’t the only one as my eldest daughter had received more than my prognosis to bare with.
My daughter and her husband had just experienced an unexpected devastating and life changing news of my granddaughter. Their own daughter, my granddaughter, who has only just turned five years old, was hospitalised, on the Friday the 29th November, the day after my diagnosis and she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. The biggest chocking news ever. We couldn’t break down in front one another, in case we would upset one another, we had to keep surviving but how. Then I realised, why can’t we upset each other, we need each other to support one another. If we don’t know, we can’t support one another. In order to move on, you have to accept the good and the bad, it is part of life and that way knowing what is bad, you can try and make it good or at least give it a bloody good shot at doing good. You don’t think about it, you just do it somehow.
Instantly, we accepted the inevitable and started rebuilding this new life.
So, the journey to the hospital was a realisation. It had brought to all of us, an unforeseen dilemma, a vision of what our future’s path had paved for us. Yet, by the time we had reached the hospital grounds, we accepted our engraved path and embraced a new adventure, not with welcome arms but in a survival mode, a positive survival mode.
Since my biopsy, my physical and mental health, had once again declined. I guess it was to be expected, but still we fell deeply into shock. A ‘Tsunami’ had accelerated towards us at way over a hundred miles an hour and we had no warning of the adverse fast advancing forecast. It blew us off our course and we have all landed mentally broken in a wild jungle. So what now!
Well, We are all having to find our bearings and begin again. A little flummoxed, worn and decrepit but alive. I was admitted to the hospital and it turned out that I have a chest infection again and this is due to my low immune system but I was lucky as the the health professionals called me into hospital fearing it could be a pulmonary embolism.
Pulmonary embolism is a blockage in one of the pulmonary arteries in your lungs. In most cases, pulmonary embolism is caused by blood clots that travel to the lungs from the legs or other parts of the body, to which is known to other people as deep vein thrombosis.
I am filled with joy as my sister has branched out on a brand new adventure to build my immune system back up and in the process we had also found research on angiogenesis. Angiogenesis means the growth of new blood vessels from the cancer cells themselves. So, to reduce or starve these cancer blood vessels spreading and growing, we found research on Anti angiogenic drugs treatments which apparently stops the tumours from growing their own blood vessels. These drugs are found to successfully stop a cancer from growing its own blood vessels, if not slow the rate of the growth of the cancer or and in our case, due to our money circumstances, we are researching the food list which replaces the expensive drug treatment and helps build my immune system up so I can be fit enough to starve the cancer blood vessels to continue to build and starve them out. It is proven to work and to allow to recover and survive this big ‘C‘.
So, this is our endeavour. I will keep fighting until my last breath.
We have all decided that I will not be dragged away without one more last fight. We only live this life once.
Then, realising that I might not be around, I have decided to;
- Venture on this fight to survive the big ‘C‘.
- To write my will, dividing my memoir’s proceed to
- My 6 children.
- My partner.
- My mother.
- Cancer research.
- To set up a retreat. This would be a special tranquil place, offering for one family at a time to recover from physical, sexual and mental abuse. Set up with personal psychiatrist, different holistic therapist. In hope we can help and begin their healing process before the family. Healing has to begin within one’s mind, heart and soul. Then we want to guide them back into society.
- Because they have to face the world not knowing how to venture out whilst they are still, and will be for many years to come, hurting from their perpetual residual pain.
- Important step will be for them to continue on their healing path. As they say, ‘ You only begin to learn to drive once you have passed your driving test.
- Finally to write my public diary, of fighting this big ‘C’ to which my son will be appointed in charge to gather into a manuscript and to then publish as a book to help all the cancer sufferers, their families and especially their friends.
- The mental health aspect of myself, family and friends.
- My physical aspect.
- The food consumed.
- Exercise undertaken to the best ability.
- Positive attitude vs negative attitudes.
- Hobbies undertaken, new or old, to keep on going.
- Perhaps finish my health books too.
Then there is my bucket list. I should do one and I think I will do one, but that probably be in part three of my ‘Dying Legacy’.
And the update news flash;
Due to the kindest generosity and warm heart of Tessa Barrie‘s post , ‘ For Gemma Dupont – Please care, and share. Thank you.‘, I have received word that my manuscript is now being edited by this amazing professional editor and her team. More on the news flash at another date. But things are moving.
Thank you so much everyone.
Dying Legacy Part 3; I’m a CUP
2 thoughts on “My dying Legacy Part 2”
I love you and I am here for you. You are a wonderful person and very courageous and brave. xoxo
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Alexa, I think of you all the time you are my little salvation soul sister, you so are I love you so much Alexa ❤ ❤
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